Empowerment to Love, Insight to Discover,
Acceptance to Live.

Your Life, Your Responsibility

“The desire to create change, is the desire to create more meaning and purpose. What is the purpose or meaning you are trying to create? Don't focus solely on the physical, acknowledge the inner calling.”

Life responsibility is to grow personally. If we desire to have better relationships, more peace and happiness, a greater sense of significance, and a more meaningful existence we must Grow on purpose. This idea of Personal Growth remains unhidden to everybody everywhere. It is weaved within the fabric of our very existence and its value can be seen within everything around us. We do not all hear its calling at the same time, but we all at some point acknowledge its importance. Your Life, You Responsibility – is an understanding that on purpose Personal Growth is a must if we truly desire to overcome those things we feel are holding us back.

A Moment of Reflection:

Allow me to reflect to a time when I was sitting in my car all alone, with all my possessions sitting next to me, behind me, and in the trunk. I realized that I was homeless, I had no where to go and didn't want to drive anywhere because the five bucks I did have would probably be better served as food rather than gas. My initial knee jerk reaction was to focus on how I could get some cocaine to numb this feeling of isolation, pain, and guilt. But knowing that my resources at the moment where thin, I sat and contemplated my existence.

The conversation with my self began almost without effort as I started blaming my family, my friends, ex girl friends, teachers, and acquaintances. In my mind, I was so certain that at least one of these people were responsible for my situation and how I felt. “if this person never gave me this drug, than I would have never ended up here,” If that person followed through with their commitment than I wouldn't be in this mess, “If my dad had stuck around I wouldn't have made these decisions.” As the tears of anger streamed down my face, a peace fell upon my heart that can only be described as ultimate comfort. I asked a question, that I had never asked before. “What if this isn't their fault, then who's fault is it?”

This question led me down a path I had not been before. I began to look at past circumstances differently. “I guess he didn't make me do that,” and “maybe it's my own fault.” Then came an awesome revelation. “If I created my life thus far, maybe I can create a different life from here on out.” At that moment in time, an intention was sent out into the universe that tiger's life would be different. The only way it was going to change is if tiger allowed it to change; the only way I could give it permission to change, is if I took full responsibility for where I was and accepted it was my own doing.

Even if I didn't understand completely how it was my own fault, I knew some how I co-created it. I either gave someone else power over my own mind and emotions, or I put myself in a situation that was not congruent to what I truly desired for my life.

Recognize A New Beginning:

Don't try and change your world over night. If it was meant to be so, then there would be no need for growth. The flowers outside your window didn't bloom over night. The blooming process started with a seed in the ground; and before that, another plant intended this new bloom by releasing a seed into world. My experience above describes an intention sent into the world, a seed that I planted.

I still continued my cocaine habit and failing drug business, I continued womanizing and disrespecting the opposite sex, I still had anger, guilt, and hate in my heart; but all of that was and is irrelevant to the big picture. The bigger focus was that I had planted a seed and accepted the fact that I am responsible for what happens in my life. When we make that declaration we slowly begin to see changes in our within our experience, we begin to see things differently that lead us to where we truly want to go.

I sought out people who seem to have what I wanted; what I truly wanted, not superficial extras that hide who we really are. I wanted peace, I wanted to be free of certain addictions that were contributing to the destruction of my life. I followed my heart and tried to listen to the voice inside and it led me to places that offered comfort, hope, and empowerment. It led me to places that were right for me and might not be right for you. That's the awesome thing about this power, is its unique focus on the individual.

The place it led me two years ago, are not the same places I need to go today. The guided path of yesterday would be counter-productive to send me there today. This power inside you that guides, walks with you were you are in the moment; always taking you home to a place of love if you allow it.

Growing on Purpose is making the decision to become better, not only for yourself but for those around you as well. It's setting an intention in place that you will be proactive and deliberately become a more meaningful entity with a higher purpose. It will be a process, we must learn to enjoy the journey because that is all there is. The destination is an illusion, if we become obsessed with the outcome we will miss the true joy that comes from growth. The journey is the Song, be inspired by the music you create with each footstep.

Exercises and Application

Take three to five minutes and reflect back on your life, look at the coincidences that took place that led to the goodness in your life right now. How things just seemingly lined up unexpectedly and how a door just happen to be open. Or how you ran into someone you haven't seen in a long time and you were just thinking about it, maybe it led to an experience that would fall into the goodness category. I encourage to remember some of these synchronicities and how exciting they were in the moment.

I believe these happenings are not random or unplanned. I strongly believe that we participate in these coincidences and can create more of them in our everyday life, which will lead us towards our ultimate calling or towards a more fulfilled experience. Sometimes it not about creating more of them, but about recognizing the ones already around you; they're already there, we just chose not to see them. I know for me, creating these moments is fun and exciting. It seems like as I continue to grow I find more of them all around me. I'd love to someday write in more details about them because some simply blow my mind.

For the Willing:

If you are willing, I encourage you to take the time and write some things down. Just for five or ten minutes write down what you have not taken full responsibility for. Spend some time reflecting on these memories and try to see how no one but yourself is responsible for the outcome of how happy you are.

Just in doing this exercise you are sending out an intention of creating a better life and is something to be excited about. As you think about these events focus on what you could do next time to create a different experience; an experience that is more in line with who you truly are and what you desire for your life.

After you have done this, write down or focus on what you truly desire for you life on the inside. I say on the “inside” because that's where true change resides. We can change our external image and think we are growing, but as we all probably have learned, it is fleeting and last only for a moment; also being a poor imitation for what true happiness feels like. I'm sure we have all had the thought... “man if only I had a new car I would be happy,” then we get the car and then start resenting the payment when the budget gets tight. Think about the how you want to feel on the inside. Do you want to feel Healthy? How about confident? Do you desire to feel honest? Do you want to feel love in your heart?

Oh and by the way, we are talking about how you want to feel, not how you “don't want to feel.”

Focusing on what you don't want, often leads to poor solutions. A great example of this is in the medical field. Western medicine's focus is on eliminating symptoms rather than curing the discomfort or prevention / for the most part. If you ask the question “I don't want this head ache, what can do to get rid of it?” the common answer is take a pill. If you focus on what you do want... “I want to live headache free, how can I do that?” You get a completely different set of answers focused on prevention and cures.

Conclusion:

When you've done this, it's important to keep those thoughts at the front of your mind as you go through your day. If you do, you will begin to see coincidences and messages that will lead you towards that desire. I at times post things on my walls or on the mirror where I know I will see them everyday and throughout the day.

And now, just pay attention and have awareness of what's around you in the moment. Remember, it's a process; a journey that takes time. Have fun with it and don't be so hard on yourself. Growth is not perfection, perfect is what and where you are now in this moment, and this moment is ready to carry you to a life of more love, joy, and acceptance. I am excited to have participated in your growth, if that be the case.

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